I think I'll spend my whole life deciding if this is true or not.

I woke up on Sunday morning in an awful mood that I just couldn't shake. Even though I had plenty of sleep the night before and I was getting ready to go to a Steve Ross workshop across town. He was the first person I ever did yoga with, on the Oxygen network, in my living room in Virginia. In the house I grew up in my kitchen is attached to the living room, so my family was hanging around as I tried to concentrate on postures. "Does that really do anything?" my brother asked me mid-pose. "Can't you see I'm sweating?"

My dad firmly believes (he only firmly believes in anything, it's never a half-assed thing for him) that people are born with certain dispositions. Who they are is who they are, and there is no changing that. There are certain things one can do throughout life to adapt to situations, but generally people are set in their ways from very early on.

My new roommate and I went together to the yoga class; he went to a coffee shop to write while I went to my yoga class. In the car and earlier that morning I was just being an ass hole the whole time. I couldn't shake this bad mood and I was taking it all out on him. Telling him I needed space and that I was one of those abnormal people in that I needed time to myself for about two hours a day or I get really impatient with people around me. It was a similar conversation to the ones we used to have when we were dating. I just went right back to that formula.

It's all really silly, anyway. Even as I got to the yoga class, one I'd been looking forward to all month; I couldn't really process how I was feeling. The kind of yoga that Steve Ross teaches is relaxed but intense; basically he wants you to eventually come into your own true self. At least, that's how I see it. He plays hip hop music and expects you to not take yourself so seriously. Toward the end of the class he leaned down to me while I was stretching in a hip-opening pose and said: You're quiet today. Is it working for you? I stubbornly answered : YES!