ridiculous seersucker preppy outfits

I rarely have the courage to do things alone. As much as I love being alone in my apartment, I always get so anxious when I have to do something outside in the world by myself. I always admired people who can go to the movies by themselves (although I think this is more of a city thing) and feel completely comfortable. Not only are these people comfortable but also they really enjoy it. I mean, unless you are one of those people who talks throughout movies, then going alone is probably a great experience. I really hope to do this someday. For now, I'm going to settle with walking downtown to get dumplings and sweet and sour cold noodles.

Last night during this walk I was listening to the new Andrew Bird on my iPod, and it was one of those perfect spring-summer nights where it's cool enough to wear a jacket or just a t-shirt. And like usual, the downtown mall was full of people hanging out and eating outside. Some of the restaurants open up European-style in the warmer seasons, and everything seemed so round. I didn't get annoyed at the couple in front of me walking with their arms around each other and I even smiled when they stopped for a long, romantic kiss.

On Friday night I had been convinced to go to Foxfields by an old high school friend who was in town, but only if our other high school friend who also lives in Charlottesville went as well. Foxfields is basically a huge field party in the middle of horse races. Everyone dresses up in ridiculous seersucker preppy outfits and sundresses and gets wasted in the middle of the day. Not exactly my idea of fun, but the fact that I was hanging out with these two friends really made the difference. That always makes the difference.

I struggled to get up early on Saturday morning since we spent all Friday night drinking and catching up, explaining how much our lives had changed without really talking about it, and drinking cold, white wine. My friend's boyfriend drove us to Foxfields, with me sitting in the back, sunglasses and emergen-C on hand. I had thrown on a cotton dress and flip-flops, my make-up from the night before still sagging on my face. About an hour into the five-mile-an-hour/standstill traffic, my friend and I got out of the car and started to walk. On any other day I would have been complaining, but at this point I was invested in finding our other friend, enjoying the overcast cool breeze day, and just plain being in the company of these two people.

The road to Foxfields is full and green, right outside of Charlottesville and into the country. There are large houses that line the road, and when we finally got to the ridiculousness that is Foxfields, I was almost disappointed that the walk was over. We finally found our friend, and he was at a plot near the horse tracks. At one point we began to talk about figuring stuff out, and it made me think of how we all three used to hang out in high school, how they lingered around together after I had gone home.

I have never really understood the reason why people are drawn to certain people, they just are. Whether it’s on the wooden bleachers in a worn-down gym or in the middle of a field in central Virginia, there’s no real way of knowing why each group connects together and then, broken apart, swarms around each other.

My friend and I left early and took a cab home because she had to work, and we shared it with a couple. I felt like I lived in an actual city again. The girl sat in the back with us and her boyfriend sat in the front, drunkenly putting his hand up in the air for her to hold it. They were making plans to go get some pizza and then take a nap. In the middle of the silence of the cab ride he blurted out "love you" as if that was the one thought that made it through his foggy mind. It sounded like it came from somewhere deep in his thoughts, like he had dwelled on it and then couldn’t help but let it surface. She laughed and told him she loved him, too.